HomeCompression Calf Sleeves
Being in spending mode prior to the Toowoomba Marathon, I picked up a pair of 2XU Compression Calf Guards.
This morning I pulled them on.
Entering the kitchen my girlfriend greeted me with a disapproving look.
Her: "What are they?"
Me: "My new calf sleeves"
Her: "What are they for?"
Me: "To make me feel like a strong and powerful runner"
Her: "Ok, but what do they do?"
Me: "They make me feel like a strong and powerful runner"
Her (irritation starting to show): "You said that already. What is their purpose?"
Me: "To make me feel like a strong and powerful runner"
Her: "You're starting to piss me off. They must do something. Did you ask what they do?"
Me: "No"
Her: "Well, you're an idiot. How much did they cost?"
Me: "Not sure. I never asked"
Her: "I just can't...."
So that is how my day started.
🏃➡️🏃♀️➡️🏃♂️➡️
I've seen mates who are good runners wearing these things. Unlike them, I'm a rubbish runner. I still like to pretend though. I've been wanting to try a pair of calf sleeves for a while.
There may be situations and conditions where applying calf compression has benefits. I'd bet money that 90% of the time calf sleeves are worn either as leg warmers, for a psychological edge, or because 'fashion'.
In my case I bought them without a clear motivation. I hope they do something beneficial, but deep down I don't really expect they will.
Not everything has to be proved in a double blind scientific test to be valuable. If they make me feel good, I'm ok with that. I don't feel any need to buy into the pseudo-science bullshit that sports apparel companies love to rabbit on about.
Below is what the packaging touts in its copious list of features.
Listed Key Features (my translation)
- They are what they are (❓ excellent 'feature').
- Techno-babble saying they are tight and a bit grippy.
- Hey, actual features (quick drying, and sunburn blocking).
- Some nebulous claim about some nebulously defined benefits.
- Logo (❓ another excellent 'feature').
- Are comfortable.
And then there is the (curiously separated) feature: "Improved Limb Position Awareness". I don't know what that is, only that it has my bullshit detector red-lining.
Yep. So no real help there.
Part of me thinks my girlfriend wanted me to stumble around pretending I had some physiologically justifiable explanation for this purchase. Then she could have belittled and debunked my explanations, before finally squeezing a confession from me - yet another wasteful impulse purchase!
Probably I should have played along.
I still think my answer was the correct one.
Maybe I'll try to phrase it differently next time.